Are you sitting comfortably? No? Well that’s tough luck, because you’re not going to sit on me. I’m the mayor’s chair, see. For mayors only, not the likes of you sonny-jim.
I’m made of finest mahogany and hand-stitched leather – that’s HAND-stitched, none of your new-fangled ‘machines’. Not only am I made of the finest materials, I’m also substantially larger than normal chairs – some liken me to a throne, though I’d never be so bold to say it myself.
Adopt me and maybe some of my gravitas will rub off on you, if you’re lucky. No sitting on me though – it’s mayoral bottoms only.